At war no more...

At war no more…

I cannot tell you what it would be like to live impoverished in the streets, in fear for my life, from enemies invading my homeland.  I cannot relate to a world where I sleep with a gun in my hands, prepared for the enemy to strike at any moment, ready to protect myself and my family from my enemy.  I do not know the sting of a physical war personally but I have, unknowingly, been in a mental or spiritual war for as long as I can remember, until the last few months.  I can now solemnly declare that I am at war no more.

Gone are the days of watching for the enemy at all times in my life.  Gone are the days of a mote and tall walls around my home as I strive to protect my family from an enemy intruding.  My armor and weapons are buried, never to be retrieved as I embark on a life of peace and happiness to a degree that I have never known.

I no longer live a life of silent fear, striving to feel peace and happiness by more and more protection and armor, incessantly studying for more ways to protect and arm myself.  I no longer feel the need to hover over and monitor my children, making sure they are always out of harm’s way and protected from whatever darkness lurks, diligently trying to teach them the way to safety and peace, the only way I knew to find any degree of it.  My fighting is over.  My peace is found.  My life is a joy.  I now feel free.

The peace I have found is the peace found within.  It’s the beginning of truly understanding who I am and why I am here and the purpose of this life.  It comes from being true to myself and loving, respecting and forgiving myself.  It’s about embracing this life experience and the lessons I can learn from it.

It is enhanced and magnified as I look to others with a greater love and respect than I have ever felt before for all mankind, despite their weaknesses and foibles, offering to them the same mercies that I now extend to myself as I do the best I can in this life and understand that others are all doing the same.  

My happiness is no longer dependent on approval from others, completing my checklist, comparing and finding ways that I am doing better than others, and other such methods.  I no longer need to feel loved and accepted by others (although that is always appreciated) because I feel that love from within.  I’m learning and understanding more every day in this exciting life experience and as I look at things from the eyes of a little child, I can appreciate the glory and splendor of the moment without fear, judgment, criticism, or jaded vision.

The war is over.  Peace is found.  Say what you want, think what you want, condemn me if you will, I will never fight that war again.  I am at war no more.